As is common knowledge, I have been moonlighting as a TSA agent.
‘Pat down- or Scanner?’

Pulling down pants and feeling up crotches, confiscating and collecting, intimidating and interrogating, all part of a patriotic duty to keep everybody real, real safe. An enriching, rewarding exercise and a tentacle in the tapestry of my, ‘Master Plan for World Domination’.

Now some clowns want to make fun of the sacred TSA?
Lampoon a public demonstration of state-power and public programming?
What kind of domestic terrorist would dare?

The simple truth is I love the TSA.
It’s every bit as patriotic as the Patriot Act.
So if anybody cracks wise- they get locked up.

-The Boss